What Ho! On this very day in history (2012) local man John ‘Where the fucks my eggs?” Ferris tried to eat a 36oz burger in less than half an hour and failed.
Obviously he failed he’s not a Manbearpig.
Ferris, a noted local journalist, blogger, food critic and eggspert, has become heavily involved in the Challenge Eating scene since he took part in last year’s 24” inch pizza challenge.
His recent feats include eating 33 coconut fingers stuffed with sausage rolls in 27 minutes, coming third in The Morning Star’s 46oz Steak Off (he later complained that it was probably a silly idea to do it on the same morning as the Coconut/Sausage Roll thingy) and more worryingly he accepted a local farmer’s challenge to eat 5kg of Muesli against his favourite horse. The horse appeared bored after about 10 minutes and wandered off. John finished the muesli.
His friends, family and work mates have become increasingly worried about how deep John is getting into the Challenge Eating scene.
“He meets strangers in car parks for challenges…it’s normally McDonalds and stuff but sometimes it’s like sides of beef…I don’t know where it will end”, said a tearful Mrs Ferris.
“The boss is gonna have to speak to him…” said an unnamed work colleague “…I walked in on him the other day and he was smearing ketchup on his laptop. It’s sad…its a really nice laptop”
So if you see this man in a car park or on the street and he challenges you to an eating contest just walk away and phone the authorities…